When I was 6 or 7, my lovely aunt gifted me a sweet little framed art piece with a cross-stitched message that said, “Please be patient… God isn’t finished with me yet.”
I absolutely loved it. Next to the message was a dark-haired little girl with little stitched-knot freckles. Her pony tails were messy, and she looked like she was wearing her older sister’s dress. We didn’t have the phrase yet in the late 70’s- early 80’s, but the little girl was a hot mess, and she WAS me!
Even then, I didn’t think much about a god that might be pulling the strings on whether I ever became finished or not, but I truly thought that was a message written for me. Don’t judge this little girl– she is not done yet!
The funny (or maybe sad) thing, when I think about it now, is that I thought my aunt gave me that because I was especially not done yet. Like, less done than most. My pretty, blonde-haired, blue-eyed sister got a different cross-stitch-based gift, and obviously the message on hers didn’t resonate with me, because I have zero recollection of what hers said. I felt like my aunt recognized that I was a little extra weird and half-baked as a human. There was a comfort in knowing that she “got me”. But, as I think back on it, it definitely helped validate my feelings of not quite fitting in, of not quite being good enough or up to standards. And my aunt could obviously tell. At the same time though, I was hopeful that, at some point, I actually might be.
At almost 50, I still frequently feel less interesting, less qualified, less polished, less desirable… less “done” than everyone else in the room in social or business situations. (And social business situations? Psh. Nightmare fuel!) I feel like that little, freckled, hot mess with squinty eyes, funky hair and awkward style, who might not quite fit in. But I have learned over the years that I am far from the only one feeling “less than” in any situation. So when those thoughts start bubbling up, I try to remind myself of how much less focused on me other people are than I am. I stand strong in the hope that everyone else is too busy judging themselves to notice my glaringly obvious shortfalls.
I know now that the cross-stitched sentiment was NOT written specifically for me, but it’s still a message that resonates with me. I *am* unfinished – but that doesn’t make me less than. I am a work in progress. We are all works in progress, and masterpieces can take a while to complete.
Unfinished Kris 