Unfinished Kris

Social Media gets a lot of negative attention for how divisive it can be, and for how it can breed envy, negative self-image and inspire general FOMO. And there certainly is a lot of that out there. The grass on the other side of the filter is so much greener. #impossiblygreen #greenjelly

But if I reflect on my experience on social media, I find it to be very similar in many ways to my experience with forms of expression, like poetry, books, and music. No, seriously! Let’s think about music.

Whether it’s the lyrics or the rhythms, music finds an unseen …thing in us that pulls us in and makes us feel something. It can make us smile, cry, laugh, remember, dance, sing, and it can even help us find things within that we didn’t even know existed. Somehow, not only I, but millions of others, are able to identify with an expression of feeling from another human, and in that connection, we find our humanity. Music has let us know since the beginning of time that we are not alone in our fear of losing love, our joy in finding it, our desire for physical connection, the need to let loose, and even how much music makes us feel. It reminds us that we are human.

Now, let’s think again about social media. What I see in my feeds every day are people experiencing the same feelings I’ve experienced and expressing, through a quick phrase, a photo or two, or even a long scrolly wall of words, exactly how I felt about it. And while a lot of these align with the same themes we hear over and over in music, so many of them are a little more out there – sentiments that I might have been afraid to express for fear of appearing weird. Somehow it is able to go into deeper, darker corners of my humanity.

It turns out, according to social media, that lots of other long-haired humans have discovered the same method as I for handling loose hair in the shower – the ole twist and stick. (You twist the hairs into a dread-lock of sorts and throw it, wet, against the shower wall. It will stick until you can collect it, post-shower.) Other humans apparently also get more homeless looking the longer they stay home… just. like. I. do! Social media has taught me that I am not alone when I feel an irresistible urge to clack tongs a few times before I use them, or smack a bag of soil as I walk past a stack of them in a garden center, or even play my empty cup and straw like a Charlie Daniels fiddle solo.

More than those silly quirks that make us all so human and a little weird, I know through social media that the anxiety that I feel is also strong in so many others. I know that so many others battle their own busy brains at 2 AM. I’m not alone in having that stupid comment or embarrassing moment pounce on my quiet brain at random moments, and I am constantly reminded that everybody is going through something.

I’ve said for years now that social media is what you make it. Of course you’re working against some pretty strong algorithms, and there are a lot of things happening on social media that could make you question the humanity of some of the other humans, but the messages you take away are up to you. Every time you like, share, re-post or even think, “OMG! I do that too!”, consider that you’ve connected with another human — millions of them, really. I take some comfort in knowing that the dumbest thing I have ever done and the weirdest thing I’ve ever thought, likely happened to or flowed through the brain of another human being out there.